I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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