Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
