I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
