Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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