So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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