is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
