Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize