I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
