the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
