What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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