I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
