I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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