so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
