He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
