i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
