I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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