Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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