In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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