Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
