he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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