I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
