I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize