I wish they made helmets for livers.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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