So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize