So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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