Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
