i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
