Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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