Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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