like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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