idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I will die if light touches me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
