he puts the penis in happiness.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
