Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My boob is missing a layer of skin
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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