Me. At least after what I've been through.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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