Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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