Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
