I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize