I hate all girls vehemently.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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