Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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