so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
