so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
