I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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