is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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