Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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