I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
