is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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