saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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