What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
