Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
