these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
