So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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