I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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