you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
