I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
