omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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