are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
