Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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