That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize