Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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